Saturday, January 22, 2011

THE IDEAL AGE

I often ask myself what is the “ideal” age a woman should start having children.
 I regularly discuss this subject with different type of women in attempt to obtain a concrete response. However,   there are no consistencies in the results I generally obtained because there are many factors that influences and contributes to individuals’ perspectives on life.
 An individual’s mindset in regards to children might be manipulated by many institutes such as religion, education and family. In addition, socialization can also sway people to create their own norms in regards to children.
 For instance, I often socialize myself with individuals that tend to make education and work their number one priority and children the last thing on their agenda.  Consequently, we all have similar goals in life; to attain exceptional education and becoming financially stable before considering children.
This means, no kids until the age of 30!!!
I am laughing to myself as I am writing this blog because this type of plan seems absurd to my mother and other people I have discussed this subject with. 
My lovely mother believes that this idea is illogical.
She often tells me that 21-25 is the “ideal” age a woman should start having children. I generally express amusement when we converse on this topic. 
I think to myself ...“Is this woman crazy or what??
“Having children in my early twenties? Yea right!!”
She must think that time is moving backwards but not forward. I’m only in my early twenties, I’m done school, I want to relax, have fun, make more  money, explore the world and continue my education.  Children are definitely the last thing on my mind.”
SO...
I recently had a conversation with one of my good friends in regards to this topic.  My dear friend had a child over 5 years ago and recently turned 25. You do the math!
I tried to probe some important questions during our conversation to get a better understanding on this matter.
I asked her, “What are the disadvantages and advantages as a young mother?”
 She responded, “I know there are some disadvantages having a child at a young age, such as; negative sigma and postponement of goals. But guess what?? That did not stop me from finishing university and attaining a good career. As a matter of fact, I was more motivated to work hard towards my goals because I was not living for myself anymore. I was living for my daughter."

She continued, “I will have a daughter who will be fully mature and grown when I’m in my 40s. Can you imagine me as a 41 year old woman with an 8 years old daughter? I mean, I’m not suggesting, anyone should have a child at a young age if they are not ready. Just think about your future.”
POWWW!! Now the light bulb has been switched on in my brain.
Where do I see myself in the next 20 years??  Unquestionably, not with a 10 years old child.
They say life starts at the age of 40. This is the time to enjoy life and be care free
In fact, I never thought about the logic behind this the entire time. Confession; I always had a selfish mentality when it comes to children.
I am convinced that you are asking yourself, what is prissy going to do now?
 My answer is God’s time is the best!

P.S  Please let me know your input on this matter



**Express and Reflect on your World**

Sincerely

Prissy Carter